I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
