What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
