when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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