yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
