I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
