she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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