Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
