Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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