Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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