why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
