he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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