So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
