so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
two words: eviction party
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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