wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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