So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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