It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
