did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
