He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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