if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
