We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its not stalking. its research.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
