i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
