Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
