I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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