Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
