have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
