I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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