I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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