would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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