Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
