Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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