I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
