My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
