While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
