Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
