I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
