So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
