She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I had your ass I would rule the world
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
