"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
