Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
