i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
