We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
