oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
