I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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