covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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