I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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