maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
