I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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