Kiss
Puke
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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