Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
