Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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