I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
