I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
